The Lone Journey towards Maa

The Lone Journey towards Maa

Many a times in life I have been put to experience things alone separated from the crowd even what benefits someone just next to me would get, I would not even get that easily. Contrarily because of that I should have hated people but somehow opposite happened I loved people so much to be in the company of people made me happy may be that's why this career happened where I am surrounded and Interacting with different kinds of people for most part of the day.

I had to fight for everything that I have today be it my career, the freedom and to have a place in life itself , My Birth design was sufficient to keep me comfortable but the irony was I was never able to enjoy that comforts in anyway for a sustained period of time , everytime I feel I am sorted ,

I will be thrown into a pit and asked to climb up by myself

Usually people call me stubborn,arrogant or her head is full not because I am like that but because people cannot accept someone who can speak up for themselves and Speak the truth at their face especially if it's a Woman it's a Little more stringent .

Started from having the eagerness to going to Vishnu temples as a four or five year old to studying at a Christian institution and following that faith sincerely strayed away from my birth religion was completely devoted to Christ and his teachings until a certain age then a phase of atheism and resistance towards Hindu Dharma followed by complete acceptance and Surrender

If Procedural Collapse word can be given to to someone that's my Life entirely lived till now

Interestingly it was Mahadeva , Lord Shiva who first pulled me back into the path again at that time now after years I realise from Guruji 's teachings it was not Mahadeva but Maa acting as him to bring me back.

I remember arguing with my father that I do not want to worship a god with full of alangaram and where money is flowing I don't like the idea of that I don't disrespect any faith but it just wasn't right for me so my family who was pure embodiment of Vishnu tatwa couldn't accept me wanting to worship Lord Shiva - I remember the exact words I spoke to my friend during that time I said I like Lord Shiva he sees no difference between Wealth or not he lives in the Cremation ground he is covered in Ashes he uses a tiger skin I like him better because that's what I expect how God should be for me , this should be exactly seven years back fast forward to current time I was guided right from there or even before only she knows ...

Divine Masters many I searched read a lot of books , My Father being an Aurobindo & Mother Mira Devotee inspired me a lot in early years from there I watch videos and I read books written by J Krishnamurthy, Sri M, Swami Vivekananda, Sadhguru, Yoganandha Paramahamsa and his lineage , Shri Amritanandha Natha Saraswati, Aghora series of books... List is endless. ..

I might have even missed out few names such was the search for me frantic whether I could meet some one as a Guru , enrolled in some institutes of the above names nothing paid as I was strongly against it just tried what was either of minimum or free of cost but couldn't find any pull towards it never started anything of profoundness it was just scratching surface .

Then we all know how Bhairava Nama exploded and started going towards Bhairava now Bhairava is the most interactive deity I find of all the deities I have prayed to till now at that point , he is making his presence seen left and right either in the temples I visit or at random posts he keeps appearing what I did was simple nama japa no sankalpa nothing I never even knew what was all that it was all Greek and Latin for me

Then I saw Maa standing Majestic behind Guruji in a video almost everyone in creative bench would have felt that Magnetic Pull combined with Guruji validating my doubts and answering me as if I had personally interacted with him ..Phat moments kept coming in so many things happened after that to lead me to write this now , As I look back at my life I am able to easily breakdown her designs everywhere at every point , it wasn't easy but It was worth all the Pain.

Now that I am here, my prayer is pretty simple no more frantic search no more anxiety just asking her that I may be able to consistently utter her name no matter what may come in life till the point of death , I may not sway or falter , I need nothing I am least bothered about experiences infact Maa don't give me experiences I don't want to get lost and stuck there, Just this normal life and ability to constantly sing your praise and utter your nama this is Enough for this Entire Lifetime. But if you want me to push my limits and rise, so be it .

You might think who is she is her life so great to share it as a journey, only one reason to share it is in the above mentioned points of life anyone of you could be at any point or even beyond me wiser by age or years

but you should be able to trace it back to her and see where and why you have been placed every small thing in your life is happening for a reason instead of brushing it away if you pay attention then the Guhya Vidya meant for you will reveal itself to you, In the post above itself if you're sharp you will find out the hidden meanings too

As I always say I have no free will here I just open to write empty blank she flows and fills the pages. Credits only to her I am just an instrument

Om Sri Gurubhyo Namah

Jai Maa Adya MahaKali

- Kaliputri Swetha