The Dark That Gave Me Light

The Dark That Gave Me Light

When I was a child, I used to listen to stories of the Dashavatars and various gods, and I often wondered why Devi was shown just as the ardhangini of Gods—why she was only following, why she was only obeying. At the same time, I looked at the world around me and felt women were never given a choice—to choose, to express, to live the way they wanted. I used to feel that being born a girl was unfair, because boys seemed to have all the freedom, while girls were constantly bound by expectations. Those thoughts slowly made me insecure about my own existence.

This insecurity did not stop there—it extended into other parts of my life too. People even made me insecure about being left handed. I was told again and again that things should be done in a certain way, that I should change myself. But being left handed, I never liked the idea of “certain things should be done certain way.” The so-called “right way” never felt natural to me. With time, I realised how blessed I am to be different and unique, that what others called wrong was actually a gift. My left-handedness itself became my silent rebellion—it showed me that being different is not weakness, but strength.

I also faced comments about my dark skin. I would feel hurt and depressed when people pointed it out. Between society’s expectations and people’s judgments, I began to feel insecure—not only about being a girl, but also about simply being me.

And then, I saw Kali Maa—the most fierce, powerful, divine Mother. Kali Maa never fit into the moulds of what a woman “should be.” She was never the silent, obedient figure standing behind a man. She was the one who stood fierce, raw, untamed—her hair open, her tongue out, her feet on Shiva himself. She was not dependent, not bound, not apologetic for her power. She was freedom itself.

Slowly, I realized—why should I feel ashamed of being dark? Kali Maa is dark too. Her darkness is not weakness, it is the ultimate strength—the infinite void that swallows all creation and gives birth to everything anew. From that moment, whenever people commented on my skin, I no longer felt inferior. I realized dark is not lesser—it is the colour of divinity. It is the colour of Kali.

After seeing Kali Maa and knowing her more, my perspective of being a woman changed. I started to see women in a completely different light. They are the direct projections of Devi. She is a mother, wife, daughter, boss, employee—every role she plays, she owns it.

The girl who once felt insecure slowly began to see that she was not weak, not wrong, not less. The same girl who was told her left hand was wrong, now knows it is her blessing, her uniqueness, her sign of being chosen to walk differently.

Today, I know that being a woman is not a limitation—it is power. It is Shakti. It is the fire of Maa Kali that destroys falsehood and awakens truth. Without that insecurity, I would not have searched. Without that searching, I would not have found. And without Maa Kali, I would not have known the power that was always within me.

Women are not less. Women are not mere shadows of men. Women are Devi. Women are Divine.

And so, every woman must remember: you are not here to fit into someone else’s story—you are here to roar your own truth, to walk as the embodiment of Shakti itself.

-Manasa Vaishnavi

Bhairavakalike Namostute🌺