The Dance of Dissolution

Guru Poornima

The Dance of Dissolution

A Tribute to Guruji Praveen Radhakrishnan Ji

1. The Noise Before the Note

Before I knew her silence, I mistook noise for song.

I wandered long, in rights and wrongs,

Wore borrowed names, played scripted roles

But none could fill the aching holes.

My mind was full, but my soul was dry,

Just like a child who can just sit and cry

A storm below a painted sky.

I searched for truth in outer gleam,

But lost myself in every dream.

2. The First Flicker

Then came a flicker not of flame,

But stillness clothed in mortal frame.

He spoke no thunder, gave no sign,

Yet something stirred beyond the spine.

He did not ask for folded hands,

Nor built a throne with gold or sands.

He never asked for thousands or grands

He simply looked and all grew still,

As if the stars had bent their will.

That was the moment. The axis turned.

The soul, long-frozen, slowly burned.

3. The Silent Storm

At first, we ran from truth, from grace.

I feared the mirror in his face.

His presence broke what I called me

The cage of “I,” the lie of “free.”

“This cannot be,” my ego cried,

But something deeper stepped aside.

For even flight felt far too loud,

In front of one so still, so proud.

He did not chase, nor did he bind

He simply waited… like the mind behind the mind.

4. Into the Ash

I crossed the gate, unsure, afraid

Where all I clung to must be laid.

He did not promise peace or light,

But truth that scorched the veils of night.

He burned the mask with just one glance,

Undid my self with no advance.

And yet, I wept not out of pain

But for the weight I’d lost in flame.

What dies in truth is not the soul

But all that once defied its whole.

5. Tests of Bone and Breath

The tests came not with swords or sound,

But subtle tremors underground.

He watched in calm as doubts took flight,

As shadows danced against the light.

He gave no crutch, no sweeter lie,

But taught me where illusions die.

Each fall, he met with quiet gaze

A flame that neither flinched nor sways.

No map he gave, no final chart

Just asked I find the path through heart.

6. The Mirror of Fire

In his mirror, I saw not him

But all of me grown cracked and dim.

Yet never once did he condemn,

He watched as I broke every gem.

He told me, “See,” and not, “Obey,”

And let my lies all rot away.

He did not teach with weight or rule,

But made me face my inner school.

And in that blaze, so pure, so bright

I met my first true taste of light.

7. The Night of No Self

There came a night a void, a cave

Where none remained to seek or save.

The ‘I’ dissolved like winter rain,

And all that stayed was silent pain.

Just calling out to maa like a child again

But in that ache, a lotus grew

Not from the old, but from the true.

I saw myself not through the skin,

But from the vastness held within.

He said no word. He gave no spell.

And yet, I knew I’d walked through hell.

8. The Gift of Groundlessness

I rose not proud, but feather-light

No center left to cling or fight.

He did not crown me “saint” or “wise”

He let me see through clearer eyes.

There was no me, and yet I was

A breath, a flame, a living pause.

No longer bound to rise or fall

For I was nothing… and yet all.

All for her

This was no bliss to chase or own

But peace found deep in the unknown.

9. The Return Without Arrival

I walked the world once more the same,

But now it burned with different flame.

He had not changed the outer frame,

But rewired all that bore my name.

Now every step is song and shrine,

And even pain feels half-divine.

For I now see through Guru’s gaze,

Where even loss is soaked in praise.

The seeker died, but still I move

Not to arrive, but just to prove:

Love is the only path to truth,

And silence, the only lasting proof.

10. The Elixir of Emptiness

And what have I returned with, then?

No scriptures vast, no ink from pen

Just this: a breath, a gaze, a tone,

A knowing I am not alone.

He is not outside he is the flame,

That flickers soft beneath my name.

He is the pause in every sigh,

He is maa evn if shes digambara and he wears a tie

The windless calm in storm-lit sky.

My offering is not gold or art

But a life laid bare, a humbled heart.

11. The Dance of Dissolution

So here I stand, not high, but low

A drop dissolved in sacred flow.

My only wish: to live so true,

That every act becomes a hue

of his love wordless, bold, and vast

a wave that shatters every past.

O Guru, rhythm of my breath,

Teach me to dance through life and death.

Let not my tongue recite your name

Let my life itself become your flame.

On this Guru Poornima, I do not speak.

I melt.

I bow.

I vanish…

into You.

Coz you are none other than Her

Jai Maa AdyaMahakali

Om shree Gurubhyoh namah